Let’s stop pretending that hiring is just about résumés and vibes. You want someone who fits the job like a bartender fits behind the bar—naturally, effortlessly, with flair. Here’s the real hiring checklist, stripped down and brutally honest:
1. They want to do the thing.
Waitstaff want to serve. Bookkeepers want balance. Execs want to dream and scheme. If they don’t want the core action of the role, you’re already losing. No number of pep talks will fix it.
2. They can handle the chaos.
Stress, noise, curveballs, five things at once—can they swim in it, or will they sink? Your environment isn’t changing for them. They need to thrive in it, not just survive.
3. They don’t trip over the small stuff.
Sales role with no support? They’d better be able to track their own leads. If the job has hidden requirements, they need to meet them without whining or dropping balls.
4. Deal killers
This is where it gets spicy.
- They don’t get that other people see the world differently? Red flag.
- They hate a key part of the job? Bye.
- They’re in internal conflict about the role? That’s a ticking time bomb.
- They think the boss’s weird little ritual is pointless—but it’s actually mission-critical. That’s a culture clash waiting to explode.
Hiring isn’t about perfection. It’s about alignment. Want the job, fit the environment, handle the quirks, and don’t bring drama. That’s the formula.
So next time you’re hiring, skip the generic interview questions and get real. You’re not just filling a seat—you’re building a system. Make sure the parts fit.
